2020 Update: Check out my related podcast episodes!

009 | Why Many Lawyers Struggle to Build Wealth

019 | The Secret to Building Wealth and How Anyone Can Do It

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Your co-worker always has the latest designer fashions.

Your neighbor pulled up in a new luxury car yesterday.

Your best friend is still sun-kissed from her fancy two-week island vacation, while you’ve been in your regular, non-tropical city where it’s been rainy and overcast for the last week and a half.

You probably make about the same amount as they do and work just as hard if not harder. If they can afford those things, you can, too, right? After all, you have to treat yourself—you deserve it!

We’ve all been there. It’s a classic case of trying to keep up with the Joneses. The thing is there’s always more to the story.

You don’t know their life

Unlike us weirdos on the internet, most people don’t discuss their finances openly in real life. You see the things your friends and family are buying, but you have no idea how they’re buying them.

Maybe they saved little by little until they were ready to buy.

Maybe they got a windfall, like an inheritance.

Maybe they’re drowning in debt and living paycheck-to-paycheck.

Sadly, almost 80% of the time, it’s Option 3.

I bet you thought I randomly made that figure up, didn’t you? Wish I did.

A 2017 survey by CareerBuilder shows that 78% of full-time workers are living paycheck-to-paycheck.

Seventy. Eight. Percent. Let that sink in.

Further, 71% of all U.S. workers report being in debt, and about 56% save $100 or less each month.

In other words, a lot of the people buying all those nice things have no money, no savings, and are only one job loss or medical emergency from everything crashing down around them.

Related: Everything You Need to Know About Emergency Funds

Stuff won’t make you happy

…neither will money for that matter, but at least money can help to provide stability for you and your family.

Companies spend millions on advertisements to make us feel like we need whatever they’re selling.

People trade perfectly fine phones for the newest iPhone every time one comes out. They constantly upgrade to the latest and greatest items or buy things just because they’re from [insert your favorite brand].

They buy these things thinking they’ll be happier, but once the shininess of the new toy wears off, they’re on to the next thing.

Many people (especially in professional sectors) also fall into the trap of purchasing status symbols to show others that they’ve “made it.”

From buying new luxury cars or fancy houses to sending their kids to expensive private schools, they’re shelling out money because that’s what they’re “supposed to do.”

Meanwhile, as they rack up more and more payments, they need more and more money, which means that with every shiny new purchase, they’re chaining themselves to their jobs.

It’s a never-ending cycle.

What do YOU want?

Don’t spend all your money trying to look like you have money to impress others around you.

Figure out what’s important to you, and make sure your actions (and purchases) reflect that. Remember your financial goals. Live within your means.

Related: Budgeting Tips for Beginners: A How-To Guide

This isn’t a condemnation of buying nice things. I like nice things, too.

This IS a condemnation of buying nice things without regard to whether you actually want or need them just because someone else has them. Let’s be intentional.

Focus on what you want—not what others say you should want or are supposed to have.

While the Joneses are trying to appear wealthy, let’s actually build some wealth.

Have you ever fallen into the trap of trying to keep up with the Joneses?